The money found you before the maturity did.
You weren't supposed to be rich. You were chosen. A miracle happened.
And within six months, everyone who ever texted you “hey” suddenly has a business idea.
You believe money solves problems. Technically, it does. The problem is you keep creating new ones.
You don't have a spending problem. You have a “this opportunity sounds crazy but what if” problem.
Fatal flaw: Your financial strategy is basically: “We'll figure it out.”
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If it ruined your afternoon, that was the point.