Replies in 3 to 5 business days. Shows up anyway.
You saw it. We know you saw it. The read receipt knows. God knows.
You answer Tuesday's question on Friday like nothing happened, and the wildest part is that the group has fully accepted this. You trained them.
But here is your redemption arc: when it actually matters, you show up. In person. On time. Confused about the plan, but present. The chat is optional. The friendship is not.
Fatal flaw: Your 'omw' carries a documented average error of forty minutes.
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If it ruined your afternoon, that was the point.