The Ladies’ Edition. Men, yours is down the hall and it’s called the Boyfriend Audit.
"How high are your standards, actually?"
The extended cut, written for women, scored without mercy. Sixty-nine yes or no questions about the bar you claim to have, because the short version kept letting people off easy. Answer fast, answer honestly, and find out whether it’s a standard or a personality trait.
And no, there is no Bare Minimum Detector for men. There will never be one. Because let’s be real: the only requirement for a man is a female with a pulse. That’s the whole bar. A man will go down bad because a woman blinked at him in a Target parking lot. Meanwhile yours is 6‑4, has a skincare routine, and emotionally regulates on command. So this one goes the other direction, and it’s going to hurt.
Your answers never leave your browser. Only the result gets counted, so I can laugh at you weirdos in aggregate, never individually.
The Ladies' Bare Minimum Detector 2.0 is the extended, no-mercy edition of the dating standards test. Sixty-nine yes or no questions about the bar you claim to have, scored without the polite rounding the first version allowed. This is standards under a microscope: every obviously and every that's just basic respect gets tested against what you'd actually accept.
Some people come out with an Open Door Policy, refreshingly easy to please. Most land around HR Department, a rigorous but arguably fair screening process. And a committed few are Waiting for a Unicorn, or worse, discover that Nobody Is Coming, because the spec sheet has no real-world matches. So how high are your standards, actually? Sixty-nine questions strip the flattering ambiguity out of the answer. It's the same self-audit as the original, just longer, sharper, and far harder to talk your way out of at the end.
Made by one person. No logins, no answers stored.
If it ruined your afternoon, that was the point.
The Bare Minimum Detector 2.0 is the sharper sequel, measuring how high your standards actually are across spark, lifestyle, emotional skills, and your personal ick detector. It even scores your brutal self-awareness.
This version digs into long-term reality, not just the first-date checklist. The result tells you whether you are reasonable, picky, or waiting on a unicorn that does not exist.
Version 2.0 scores six categories:
The sharper sequel scores six categories, from spark to long-term reality, and even grades your brutal self-awareness. Your answers average into one result, from reasonable to waiting on a unicorn. This version is harder to game than the original.
This is for anyone who breezed through the first version and wants the harder read, and for the people who hold others to a bar they skip themselves. Take it if you can handle being measured too.